captain holt quotes, best captain holt quotes
captain holt quotes
“Every time someone steps up and says who they are, the world becomes a better, more interesting place.”
“I’m not interested in caring about people. I once worked with a guy for three years and never learned his name. Best friend I ever had. We still never talk sometimes.”
“The English language cannot fully capture the depth and complexity of my thoughts, so I’m incorporating emojis into my speech to better express myself. Winky face.”
“I’m one of the most perceptive geniuses who ever lived!”
“I’m not a brilliant detective because I’m gay. I’m a brilliant detective who also happens to be gay.”
“I love subtle homages.”
“The Vulture is the human form of the 100 Emoji.”
“What kind of monster uses an entire binder clip on a stack of papers?”
“I’m not a doctor. I’m a normal, functioning member of society with a great relationship.”
“I’m straight-up not having a good time.”
“I’m always angry. I’m married.”
“If you’re implying that I might be able to run faster without this briefcase, you’re wrong. It’s full of important files.”
“Every time you open your mouth, you drain my life force.”
“You know, they say you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. Well, you miss 100% of the shots you do take. That’s called math.”
“Cool motive, still murder.”
“What’s more important, your job or your life? Trick question, they’re the same thing.”
“The English language cannot fully capture the depth and range of my contempt.”
“Yes, I have a nephew. His name is Marcus, and he just made detective, so now you can call me Captain Uncle.”
“There’s nothing I hate more than lying. Well, perhaps steamed carrots.”
“I don’t care about Holt. His problem is that he’s so by the book, he can’t see when the book is wrong.”
“My dog Kevin has a middle name. It’s Kevin.”
“Do not be fooled. I am a man of great passion, but that passion is exclusively reserved for the well-being of this precinct and reading.”
“Heterosexuality is a construct.”
“The English language cannot fully capture the complexity of my disdain.”
“I’m always amazed when people walk down the street texting and do not die.”